Who Can Find a Virtuous Husband and Father?

Much is said about the “virtuous wife” found in Proverbs 31,
 and her fame is well noted. The world would be a wonderful
place to live if all women could be thusly described. There
would be a lot of happy husbands and children.

This virtuous wife needs a “virtuous husband” to be complete.
 When Adam was presented with the wife God had created for
 him, he said, “This is now bone of my bones, and flesh of my
 flesh” (Genesis 2:23). God completed the ceremony: “Therefore
shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave
 unto his wife; and they shall be one flesh” (Genesis 2:24).

What a beautiful picture God painted for the world to pattern
 husbands and wives after! One flesh; hearts pulsing as one;
with love as the cohesion binding them together with the
 attributes of God Himself.

What a sad picture the man and woman painted for the rest o
f the world to pattern after! Rebellion and deceit brought the
awesome family portrait to ruin. It became dark and ugly, and
the results of that rebellion have followed men and women
 from that time onward.

Is that the end of the story! NO! By no means! It cannot be used
 as an excuse and escape from the purity of that first marriage
that God performed. God’s foreknowledge of the fall of the
first family set in motion the means of redeeming all of the
 fallen race that had walked in the pattern set by Adam and Eve.

A new picture emerges. It is beautiful, ugly, awesome and
 redeeming. See the beautiful of the Baby born in a barn in
Bethlehem; His ugly, terrible death on the cross and His glorious resurrection bringing redemption and restoration to the
brokenness of man. God gave the prophesy in Genesis 3:15:
 The head of the offending serpent who was responsible for
distorting the family portrait of God’s creation when he bruised
 the heel of the “Seed” now lies crushed by that same heel
of the “Seed.” This new picture cannot be changed;
it is mounted with eternity.

So, where can we find a virtuous husband to complement the
 virtuous wife and be a virtuous father? Look now and see the
husband God planned for her. It all begins with Ephesians 5:18,
 “…Be filled with the Spirit.” If there is a “secret,” that is it.
Being filled with the Spirit brings favorable fruit into his life.
These attributes can be used to describe God’s man and are made
to fit the wife as well. The “buds” of the fruit are present when he
 is filled with the Spirit, waiting for development as the man
submits the rule of the Spirit.

At the top of the list is “Love.” We would not be remiss by calling
 it the trunk from which the branches spring. Jesus said He was
 the vine (trunk), and we know that God is love. It appears
that all the other fruit spring from the trunk of Love. Love is the
 distinctive mark of a virtuous man, the logo of Christ. This is
 not human love that limits itself to “if, when, because and until.”
Its life substance comes from the root source which is God. It
 loves “in spite of, regardless and forever.” It has the will to
love; to love his wife and his children as Christ loves him
 and gives him the ability to love likewise.

Joy is another bud waiting to develop in its fullness. This is not
related to happiness which is temporal and fleeting based on
what is happening. It springs forth from the well of the
 indwelling Spirit. Nehemiah 8:10 reminds us that “the joy of
 the Lord is your strength.” If this joy comes from the Lord,
then it is constant and not reliant on what is happening. This
 joy brings contentment to the wife of the virtuous man.
It makes his children happy when he comes home.

A virtuous wife and her children need to be treated with
 longsuffering, gentleness and meekness. Imperfection in them
will display his longsuffering and tolerance that Christ has shown
 the husband and father who has the same deficit. They are a
 work-in-progress since rarely are any two people on the same
 Spiritual growth level. He gently helps his wife instead of pointing
out her imperfections while she is growing just like God is teaching
 him through his own growth. He accepts the responsibility of
fatherhood and teaches Godly attributes to his children.
His meekness never makes arrogant proclamations that the
 family must bow down to without regard to their uniqueness.
He knows that his strength comes from his relationship with God,
not his own might and abilities no matter how talented he may be.

On of the most desirable fruits in a relationship is faithfulness.
The bud of faithfulness is from the branch that gets its essence from
the faithfulness of God. Every commitment will be honored faithfully.
 The wife will never have any reason to doubt his fidelity just as
 he never has to doubt the faithfulness of God. She will never
 have to wonder if he will be faithful to the end; because the
husband’s bud is like the Master Plant who will be with him
always, even to the end of the world. His children know
that they will always be able to depend on their father to
be the faithful dad that God planned for them.

Lastly, look at the bud of temperance. The virtuous husband
and father has self-control. Though many temptations will give him opportunities to act and react according to the desires of his flesh,
he will not. He is reliant on the Holy Spirit to control his every
 move. Though he will be tested many times, he will always
 remember that God is faithful and will not allow him to be
 tempted above his ability to be an over comer through Him
 who gives him strength. By his example, he will teach his
 children about the fruit of self-control.

As the virtuous husband and father continues to grow and develop
 the buds of the fruit that are within him, placed there by the Holy
 Spirit, his family will observe that the buds are developing into
 a beautiful picture like God produced in the beginning with Adam
and Eve before they rebelled. The family portrait can be hung
back on the wall of their home with gratitude and humility at
 what God has wrought.

Who can find a virtuous husband and father? Just look for one
who is filled with the Spirit and bearing fruit of the Spirit. He
 will be there in the new picture nurturing his virtuous wife
and guiding his children toward spiritual maturity in
the family orchard.

(Paraphrasing Proverbs 31:27-31) The virtuous husband and
 father looks well to the ways of his household. His children rise
 up and call him blessed; his wife also and praises him. Many
 men have done virtuously but he excels them all. A man that fears
the Lord shall be praised. Let his own good works praise
him in all the places important to him.

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering,
kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness,
 self-control…” (Galatians 5:23-23).

Delores Adams
Copyrighted. All rights reserved.

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